NOTE: The laws about child parenting time apply to both married and unmarried parents. For unmarried parents, paternity must be established before parenting time can be ordered. See Questions 23 through 27 for information about establishing paternity.
79. Who gets parenting time rights?
The parent who does not have custody gets some sort of parenting time rights except in unusual situations. See Question 83. Grandparents and other people who have a substantial relationship with the child can also get visitation rights in some situations.
80. How are parenting time rights decided?
Parenting time rights are usually decided as part of a divorce or custody case. Parenting time rights are often part of restraining order cases, too. See Questions 6 through 8.
If you can come to an agreement with the other parent on your own or through mediation, the judge will probably make your parenting plan part of the final order. See Question 65. If you can't come to an agreement, the judge will decide.
Grandparents and other people who have a substantial relationship with the child can ask for visitation rights in the divorce or custody case of the parents, or they can file a separate lawsuit.
81. Do I need a court order if I have an agreement with the other parent about parenting time?
Yes, because if the parent with custody stops the visits, only a court order can be enforced.
82. How much parenting time does the parent without custody get?
Judges in many cases will give two weekends each month, some holidays, and approximately one month in the summer. But the amount of parenting time ordered depends on facts such as the age of the child and the distance between the parents' homes. In restraining order cases, parenting time may be more limited.
83. Can parenting time rights be denied or restricted?
Yes, but only by a judge, and only if the parenting time would put the child in real danger. Usually, this means showing the judge that the visiting parent has physically or sexually abused the child or committed another violent crime. Sometimes the judge will order that visits be supervised by a third party.
If the visiting parent shows up for a visit under the influence of drugs or alcohol, you should consider carefully what to do to protect your child. It may be helpful to have a witness who saw what condition the visiting parent was in. If the pattern continues, you should ask that the parenting time be changed. See Question 89.
84. Can I deny parenting time to the other parent if child support is not paid?
No. You must give the other parent the parenting time ordered in the divorce or custody judgment even if child support is not being paid.
85. Do I have to make my children go on visits if they don't want to?
Your children should go on visits that a court has ordered, even if they don't want to go. You should try to find out why your child does not want the visits and you should try to work out the problems by talking to the other parent (if that is safe) or through counseling. In rare cases a judge might change the parenting plan. See Question 89.
86. Do I have to let my child visit the other parent out of state? If so, who pays travel expenses?
In most cases you must let the child visit out of state unless the order limits the visit to within the state. The divorce or custody judgment may state who pays travel expenses. If there is nothing in the court order about who pays travel costs, the person who asks for the visiting time may end up paying but you may agree to share the costs.
87. What should I do if my child's other parent denies parenting time that the court gave me?
You should first try to talk to the other parent to try to work out the problem if you can do this safely.
If that fails, you can file papers with the court complaining about the denial of parenting time. Every county has a special hearing procedure to handle parenting time problems. Go to the circuit court clerk's office and ask for the parenting time enforcement forms. The court will schedule a hearing within 45 days. Some counties will require you to attend mediation first. (See Question 65 about mediation.) At the hearing, the judge can make an order to try to make sure the parent with custody gives you the parenting time the court ordered; one or more different types of court orders could be issued. You should not need a lawyer to file the papers or to go to the hearing with you.
If nothing else works, you should get a lawyer so you can ask the judge for an order holding the custodial parent in contempt of court. The rules and paperwork in these contempt cases are complicated. The judge can order penalties until the other parent allows visits.
You cannot stop making child support payments on your own just because parenting time was denied. But you can ask a judge to free you from paying child support until you get your visits. Judges do not like to stop child support payments and they will only do so if there is proof that you have had very serious problems getting parenting time.
88. Can the parent with custody move out of state with the children? Can that parent then deny the other parent parenting time?
A parent with custody can move out of state with the children unless this is forbidden by the divorce or custody judgment or other court order. Many custody orders contain a provision requiring a parent who moves more than 60 miles away to give the other parent reasonable notice of the move and to send a copy of the notice to the court. A parent who moves has no right to deny parenting time to the other parent. A parent who is denied parenting time with children who live out of state may need to get a lawyer, depending on what enforcement procedures are available in that other state. Except in emergency situations, courts in other states must honor parenting time terms that were ordered by an Oregon court.
89. How do I change the terms of parenting time?
In some counties, you can reach an agreement in mediation which could then be approved by a judge as a court order. In other counties, you will have to get a lawyer to go back to court for a change in the original parenting time order. To get the parenting time terms changed, you need to prove to the judge that it is best for the children if the parenting time terms are changed. You do not need to show that there has been a change from the way things were at the time of the first order.
If you file papers to enforce the parenting time the court ordered (see Question 87), you can ask the judge at the hearing to change the parenting plan. At that hearing, the judge can change parenting time, but can not change custody.